Elder Porter Rawlinson Blog: Week 32: The Spirit is so important guys! March 27, 2016

A lot has happened this week. Elder Bryson and I are still looking for those ready to accept the gospel. We've been able to work with some new people recently and it's been a blessing to share the gospel, but it's also been frustrating and hard at times. I'm going to let you all know right now, I'm gonna try and write these emails about what I'm experiencing here honestly and truthfully. I don't believe in writing emails just to have you all think that the mission in Thailand is perfect and fun every second of the day. I'm gonna tell it how it is and if that bothers you, then no one's forcing you to read these. It's been hard. Yes, there's been countless miracles out here and great things that have happened but it's still way hard. I'm constantly reminded that people have their free agency to choose and accept what they want as they please and though it may not be the way I want it, it's not up to me. Elder Bryson and I have gotten a lot of new investigators, but most of them aren't truly interested (for example, Brother Kuad I wrote about last week), are busy on Sundays so they can't come to church, or a combination of both. We'll keep on searching. I know there are people in this area who are ready to accept the Gospel, I have to be in-tune with the Spirit so that I can find them.

That leads me to my next topic. The Spirit. If you don't have the Spirit with you, then you're essentially wasting your time as a missionary. Lately, I've been wanting the Spirit with me more than ever so that I can be led to those ready to accept the Gospel and so that investigators can feel it and be interested in continuing to learn with us. So on Friday, we went to Udon for Zone training and it helped me realize that I wasn't where I wanted to be as a missionary. I realized I had to make some changes. I prayed and told Heavenly Father I wanted to do this work His way. I told Him I was sorry for doing things my own way and after I prayed and told Him a few other things, I felt better. I felt at peace and I felt love from Heavenly Father. That evening, we went and invited at our usual place and I noticed how much more I had the Spirit with me. I could feel the Spirit testifying of the truth of what I said. It was amazing. While we were contacting, I ran into a woman named Ying and she agreed to meet at the church the next day. At the end of our meeting with her that following day, I felt the Spirit so strongly and I know she felt it too. It wasn't until I had faith in the Lord, humbling myself before Him and repenting, was I then able to have the Spirit with me to do His work. I'm grateful for this experience I've had this week and we're planning on meeting with Ying on Tuesday. It's not about me and how I want to do this work, it's about the Lord and the people here and how He wants me to do this work. You'd think I'd get that by now but I'm still learning this principle. I hope you all have had a great week. I know this work is real. I know that God lives and loves us. There is happiness that comes from the Gospel not found anywhere else. Don't get me wrong, Thailand is a way awesome mission and it's way fun, but the mission is HARD and salvation isn't easy. I love you all and I hope you guys have a great week!

Elder Rawlinson